Stillness

almost 9 months

something’s not right

~

the heartbeat

stopped —

the baby still needs

to be delivered

~

holding you

I’ve never felt

so helpless

~

we held him

we named him

~

he looked

so beautiful

so perfect

blood started

to seep out his nose

then all over

his face

~

my body froze

my heart screamed

~

ever since you died

I’ve wanted to believe

in a heaven

~

my stillness

~

Believe

we all fear

becoming

what we fear

~

vulnerable

~

trust

our ignorance

in love

~

be still

keep dancing

life will not always

make sense

~

learn to love

our contradictions

we’re nothing

we’re everything

~

find comfort

in doubt

sometimes

it’s the only light

we’ll ever have

~

believe

“I learn by going where I have to go” ~ theodore roethke

~