almost 9 months

something’s not right


the heartbeat

stopped —

the baby still needs

to be delivered


holding you

I’ve never felt

so helpless


we held him

we named him


he looked

so beautiful

so perfect

blood started

to seep out his nose

then all over

his face


my body froze

my heart screamed


ever since you died

I’ve wanted to believe

in a heaven


my stillness


20 thoughts on “Stillness

  1. I hear it gets easier. We are only months into sadness about a friends young boy and desperately hope it will. A heart wrenching post, beautifully written. My friend has very strong belief in heaven, I don’t but I do feel Dan around the place. I do agree at times Heaven is a lovely concept. I hope your little one is keeping an eye on Mom, Dad and little sister.

  2. Oh, God, what a riveting, poem. I am so sorry for your loss. In Mexico, the tradition has existed for a very long time to take the picture of the baby at his/her passing. They are called “angelitos,” little angels and it is believed that what was painted, and now photographed, is a real angel. I believe that and than you for sharing your angel baby with us. Love to you.

  3. This is as haunting and heart-wrenching as it was when you published it last year … and, I still can’t find the right words to say … other than I’m so very sorry

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