Stillness

almost 9 months

something’s not right

~

the heartbeat

stopped —

the baby still needs

to be delivered

~

holding you

I’ve never felt

so helpless

~

we held him

we named him

~

he looked

so beautiful

so perfect

blood started

to seep out his nose

then all over

his face

~

my body froze

my heart screamed

~

ever since you died

I’ve wanted to believe

in a heaven

~

my stillness

~

20 thoughts on “Stillness

  1. I hear it gets easier. We are only months into sadness about a friends young boy and desperately hope it will. A heart wrenching post, beautifully written. My friend has very strong belief in heaven, I don’t but I do feel Dan around the place. I do agree at times Heaven is a lovely concept. I hope your little one is keeping an eye on Mom, Dad and little sister.

  2. Oh, God, what a riveting, poem. I am so sorry for your loss. In Mexico, the tradition has existed for a very long time to take the picture of the baby at his/her passing. They are called “angelitos,” little angels and it is believed that what was painted, and now photographed, is a real angel. I believe that and than you for sharing your angel baby with us. Love to you.

  3. This is as haunting and heart-wrenching as it was when you published it last year … and, I still can’t find the right words to say … other than I’m so very sorry

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